Monday, November 30, 2009

Truth or Dare?

I thought I'd start this little project out with a little truth or dare. First off, I am not good at sharing, so this whole experience will be good for me. I'm what you could call a "dead sea" type person. Basically, I think lots of thoughts, but you wouldn't know that because I don't share them. I keep them locked away and only let them out at precise, magical moments when I feel comfortable.

Second off, I struggle with perfectionism. God has stripped lots of that away over the years, but frequently it still shows it's ugly head. So, beginning a blog brings forth many insecurities. What if I'm boring? What if I have nothing to say? What if I mess up? What if someone doesn't like something I said? And the worst ever for a perfectionist...What if I fail?

Now, of course I know this is just silly. Failing at a blog. How do you even do that? That's not even important. Even though I know this truth, I still allow myself to believe the lie that I have to perform. So I decided to start out truthfully by telling you that I have insecurities. Gasp... I know. Like I'm the only one.

Here comes the dare. And yes, I am daring myself. (Don't worry it's allowed. I checked the rules on wikepedia.) I tell you all this to say that I am going to dare myself to be honest, to be brave, to share hidden parts of myself, to be vulnerable, and of course to tell the funnies of life. Even if I feel like I am 'failing', I am going to push forth and do it anyway.

This is what I remind myself of when I recognize that I am 'performing'. "I am deeply loved, completely forgiven, fully pleasing, totally accepted, and complete in Christ." What a wonderful feeling! And I know without a doubt that I will be boring at times, I will mess up occasionally, I will have nothing to say often, and yes, I will even fail a bunch. But, knowing my position in Christ's eyes let's me know... I think I can handle that.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

What's In a Name?

My blog name was very hard to come up with. I mean, this is a big deal. I recognize that. This name is going to be at the top of every page; it's even in the address. It has to really be special.

I thought and thought about this until it made my, and my husband's, head hurt. I mean it's not like I'm just picking an outfit to wear to school. This is my blog name. This is the name I'll still be looking at in years to come. I mean it's close to being as important as our own child's name....not really, but you get the point.

I want a name that really says a lot. It is super hard to define yourself in a couple of words. I realize defining myself in a couple of words is a little too unrealistic, so I settled for something that just provided a little insight into Kristin: "Faking Adulthood".

How perfect! I mean this is how I feel 95% of the time. I've never felt like an actual grown-up; not even when I got married or found out I was pregnant. I mean, I'm intimidated by grown-ups. I've always said, "Kids are so much easier that adults." So thinking of myself as one just doesn't happen. But when people look at me, I think they see a grown-up, so I'm forced to do the only thing I can think of....fake it.

Now I'm by no means calling myself a fake. But I do still feel like a child, and when grown-up things come into my life for me to deal with, I feel as if I just fake it like I know what's going on. When in all truthfulness, I have no idea what I'm doing. So in this wonderful journey of life, you're invited to watch, and maybe laugh, as I do my best at "Faking Adulthood."

Oh, and just for fun, here are some of the names that were considered, some more seriously than others.
  • Freckleface Strawberry
  • Click, Clack, Moo
  • Redheaded and Loving It
  • Finding Security in My Insecurities
  • Kbama Baby Mama