Monday, November 30, 2009

Truth or Dare?

I thought I'd start this little project out with a little truth or dare. First off, I am not good at sharing, so this whole experience will be good for me. I'm what you could call a "dead sea" type person. Basically, I think lots of thoughts, but you wouldn't know that because I don't share them. I keep them locked away and only let them out at precise, magical moments when I feel comfortable.

Second off, I struggle with perfectionism. God has stripped lots of that away over the years, but frequently it still shows it's ugly head. So, beginning a blog brings forth many insecurities. What if I'm boring? What if I have nothing to say? What if I mess up? What if someone doesn't like something I said? And the worst ever for a perfectionist...What if I fail?

Now, of course I know this is just silly. Failing at a blog. How do you even do that? That's not even important. Even though I know this truth, I still allow myself to believe the lie that I have to perform. So I decided to start out truthfully by telling you that I have insecurities. Gasp... I know. Like I'm the only one.

Here comes the dare. And yes, I am daring myself. (Don't worry it's allowed. I checked the rules on wikepedia.) I tell you all this to say that I am going to dare myself to be honest, to be brave, to share hidden parts of myself, to be vulnerable, and of course to tell the funnies of life. Even if I feel like I am 'failing', I am going to push forth and do it anyway.

This is what I remind myself of when I recognize that I am 'performing'. "I am deeply loved, completely forgiven, fully pleasing, totally accepted, and complete in Christ." What a wonderful feeling! And I know without a doubt that I will be boring at times, I will mess up occasionally, I will have nothing to say often, and yes, I will even fail a bunch. But, knowing my position in Christ's eyes let's me know... I think I can handle that.


  1. Good for you!
    I happen to think you are creative and unique, sweet and kind, and just all around cool! Soooo, you should make more of those magical moments happen ;). I wanna know what you're thinking!!

    P.S. Sam is currently flipping through his "truck book" and coloring random parts of each page. He LOVES it!

  2. I know exactly how you feel. Unfortunately, I have bad news for you: blogging can magnify your perfectionism and need for approval. It can also fulfill them - both at the same time. I struggle quite a bit with being way too obsessed with the approval I get from my blog. But the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, and I think you'll do an awesome job!

    ...we might just need to start a Blogger Support Group. :)