My Thoughts After Two Months

I cannot believe it...we have a 2 month old little angel. The time really has flown. We made it through the brand-new baby stage. I loved every minute of it (almost).



There were definately hard parts, days where I just cried along with Taylor, felt totally inadequate for mommyhood, had no idea what to do, and doubted myself completely. Now I'm sure those days will come throughout all stages of parenting, but I'm glad they are over for now. It just requires me constantly dying to myself and trusting in Christ.



Lynn kept telling me her motto for raising children, "This too shall pass." And it's totally true. I thought Taylor's gas issues were going to be the end of me. It broke my heart to listen to her cry in pain from those evil gas bubbles in her belly. But that has passed. And it's wonderful. Yes, she cries...she's a baby. But it is nothing like those evil gas bubbly cries, and for that, I am thankful.



6 weeks was the magic number for me.



Oh, and nursing is going well. Nursing was the thing I was most anxious about, even more than labor. I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to nurse, and I wanted to so badly. It hasn't been easy. I had to use these shields for awhile, and they were a pain. I was glad to use them, though, because they helped Taylor get a good latch. But I'm pretty sure they were the cause of the bad tummy issues. So, I'm glad my mom 'made' me get Taylor off of the shields. We've been shield-free for over 2 weeks, and I don't plan on going back. :-)



Nursing has also been difficult because of the unknown. I worried myself sick over whether or not Taylor was getting enough to eat. I think it's because I've heard so many people say they had problems with their child not getting enough to eat. I convinced myself that was the case for me too. I was so insecure all the time: "Is she crying because she's hungry or tired?" "There's no milk." "My child is hungry." "I can't do this!" I would secondguess myself constantly and go against my gut feelings. I finally had to come to the realization that I was not in control. I had to give it up to God, and put my trust in Him. God has taught me a lot about trust through nursing.



By the way, can I just say that I LOVE nursing! There is something so wonderful about feeding my sweet baby girl. I wish Jonathan could experience it, but I guess it's something special that God reserved just for mommys. It is such a special bonding time between mommy and baby.

Oh, and one more thing: smiles are the most magical things! God knew what He was doing with smiles. They light up my day and melt my heart. When she first smiled her bright smile at me, all the hard parts of mommyhood suddenly seemed so dim. They are the best!

That's all.